


Forget Me Not (I Beg Of You)

by Faltien228



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26156458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faltien228/pseuds/Faltien228
Summary: "For a moment he simply stares at the velvety petals, uncomprehending, before the itch returns with a vengeance, and Gon coughs again. More petals fall out, floating onto his bed gracefully to create a small pile. Dread begins to build up in his gut, and Gon doesn’t want to comprehend what the petals in front of him mean."Gon Freecss is a normal high school student. He gets average grades, is on the soccer team and has a good group of friends. Although his life isn't exactly perfect, it's pretty close to it, in Gon's opinion. But then he gets hanahaki.
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Kurapika & Leorio Paladiknight & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 30
Kudos: 117





	1. Discovery

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yuhdoh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuhdoh/gifts).



It’s the middle of summer. Heat blazes down from the sky, the sun beating relentlessly on any unfortunate civilians unlucky enough to be caught outside, away from the shelter of fans and air conditioning. Cicadas chirp merrily to each other, and mosquitoes buzz incessantly in the humid, muggy air, ready to swoop down on whoever decides to try their luck with the heat. The sky is a blue plateau, unbroken by any clouds, and the grass is a dry brown, any green long have been leeched away by the heat. It’s a hazy, relaxed atmosphere – all in all, it’s an average Friday afternoon. Or at least it should’ve been.

Because at exactly 3:45PM, Gon Freecss begins to feel a tickling sensation in the back of his throat. He ignores it at first, in favor of focusing on the comic spread in front of him, but it persists, and it’s not long before Gon coughs, raising his hand to his mouth. Blue petals tumble out, and he freezes. For a moment he simply stares at the velvety petals, uncomprehending, before the itch returns with a vengeance, and Gon coughs again. More petals fall out, floating onto his bed gracefully to create a small pile. Dread begins to build up in his gut, and Gon doesn’t want to comprehend what the petals in front of him mean.

But of course, he knows. Everyone knows what the petals mean. Hanahaki. The disease that blooms from unrequited feelings. The petals – as innocent as they seem – spell out Gon’s impending death, looming over him like the sun does at midday, unavoidable.

“Gon!” Mito calls from downstairs, and Gon startles.

“Y-Yeah?” he calls back.

“Come down and help cook dinner!”

“Okay!” He yells. “I’ll be down in a sec.”

Gon stares at the petals more. And then he slides out of bed, and gathers them in his hand, careful not to crush them. Even if they are the symbol of his death, they’re too pretty to be crushed to death by his hands. Gon deposits them in the bin, dusting his hands off.

“Gon!” Mito yells again, and Gon rushes out of his room.

“Coming!” He responds, already thumping down the stairs.

“Honestly,” Mito sighs when he reaches the kitchen, and Gon winces. “All you do is come home from school, trek mud all over the house and then go up to your room! Who do you think is going to clean up after you?”

“I’m sorry.” Gon says, eyes downcast. “I forgot.”

Mito sighs again. “I know. Just try to remember next time. Now come on, it’s fish for dinner tonight.”

_________________________________________

The next day when his alarm clock goes off, Gon slams the button to turn it off and rolls over on his side, staring at the ceiling. It’s not an incredibly interesting ceiling, with little cracks spiderwebbing through the blue paint here and there. Gon gets up. He gets changed speedily and jogs out of the house, leaving a note on the bench for Mito to see when she gets up.

The day is cool, heat not yet having risen from its slumber, and several people greet him as he passes by. Gon smiles and wishes them all a good morning. Gon slows down once he reaches his destination - the local grocery store. He walks in, the tinny, digital bell ringing as he walks in.

“Hi, how can I help you tod- Oh, it’s you Gon.” A voice greets from the counter, and Gon walks past aisles of snacks and junk food to locate a head of blonde hair.

Gon beams. “Good morning to you, Kurapika!”

Kurapika shoots him an amused glance. “You know, you don’t need to come here every weekend to help. You do half my job for me, and you don’t even get paid.”

“I like helping out!” Gon insists, and Kurapika sighs fondly.

“If you say so.”

Gon follows Kurapika through to the backroom.

“There’s some new items that need sorting out over there, but apart from that I’m afraid that there’s nothing you can help me with.”

“What about manning the counter?” Gon suggests with a grin, and Kurapika shoots him a wry glance.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to decline. As much as I would appreciate you doing my job for me, I am getting paid for _something_.”

Gon laughs and walks over to the sealed cardboard boxes, grabbing the box knife as he passes the table. He’s surprised when Kurapika follows him.

“Don’t you have to man the counter?” he asks curiously, but Kurapika dismisses his concerns with a wave of his hand.

“Don’t worry about it.” He says breezily. “No-one comes this early in the morning apart from you anyway.”

Gon hums and cuts open the tape easily with a swipe of the knife. Inside is a treasure trove of Styrofoam packaging peanuts and plastic bags of chips. Gon begins to take out the chips and load them onto the rack to be taken out to the front counter. Kurapika walks towards him and begins to help, and for a while they work in companionable silence. They fill up the first rack in no time, and Kurapika takes it out while Gon waits. He enters again with another empty rack, and directs Gon,

“Put all the funny looking red packages in here.”

Gon obliges. After a while though, and much digging through packaging peanuts, he realizes there’s none left in the box and asks,

“Hey Kurapika, mind opening another one?”

“Sure.” Kurapika says, grabbing the box knife and heading over to the rest of the cardboard boxes. While Kurapika works, Gon lets his gaze wander, and it falls upon a plastic flower crown, the kind one might buy as a cheap prize for winning some party game.

“Kurapika?” Gon starts.

“Hm?” he responds, back to Gon.

“What do you know about hanahaki?”

Kurapika stops cutting, and there’s a marked silence from his end.

“Why do you want to know?” he asks carefully, back still to Gon.

Gon scrambles for a lie. “I was just curious, I guess.” He decides on.

The cutting resumes. “Not much.” Kurapika says. “Just all the usual facts – it blooms from unrequited love, and if allowed time to grow, will eventually grow up the windpipe and suffocate the person to death. The flower can only die naturally in two circumstances, if the person stops having feelings for the other person, or if the other person loves them back. The third option is a surgery, but that removes all potential of ever having romantic feeling for that person again. The most common symptom is coughing up flowers.”

“Is that all?” Gon asks, and Kurapika gives him a strange look.

“That’s all I know.” He says, carrying the box over to where Gon is. “If you want more information, you should ask Leorio. He’ll probably have studied it.”

“Thank you, Kurapika!”

“No problem.” He replies easily, and Gon changes the subject.

“So, has Chrollo showed up again?”

Kurapika snorts. “As if. He would need some real nerve to show up after the ruckus him and his gang caused last time.”

_________________________________________

It’s around 7:00AM when Gon waves goodbye to Kurapika, and more people are around than 2 hours prior. Gon falls into a jog once again, crossing the road and turning left. He runs straight for a while, before taking another left, then a right. He ends up in a nice-looking residential area, with short, neatly trimmed trees growing to either side of the pathway and freshly mowed grass in front of all the buildings. The houses all blend together as he runs past, 86, 84, 82, 80, and finally 78. He halts, hands on his knees, panting slightly as he recovers. Number 78 is a decent house – not too big and not too small, a wooden fence with peeling yellow paint bordering it off. Gon unlatches the gate and it creaks open slowly, rusty joints complaining. He closes it behind him and walks up the cramped path to the porch, knocking on the wooden door. There’s no answer. Gon knocks again. He waits five minutes before going down the single step and heading around to the side of the house, where cleverly concealed by the long grass, is a small burrow. Gon gets down on his hands and knees and shoves his hand into the hole, groping around inside of it. Nothing. He frowns and pushes his arm in further. Still nothing.

By the time Gon locates his prize, he’s shoulder-deep into the burrow, practically lying face down on the lawn, and he sees two old ladies passing by give him a scandalized look. He flashes them a smile and hops up, the item clutched in his hand – a key. He walks back around to the porch and unlocks the door, pushing it open.

“Leorio?” he calls, entering the narrow hallway. “Leorio?”

There’s no answer, and Gon frowns. He continues down the hallway, making a beeline to the room at the very end of it. He opens the door and lo and behold, there Leorio is, slumped at his desk, snores filling the room. Gon smiles and walks up to Leorio, shaking him softly.

“Leorio. Wake up.”

Leorio jumps up almost instantly, hitting his knee on the desk.

“OW!” he howls, clutching his knee. “Shit! Fuck! That stupid fuc-” Leorio spots Gon and pauses. “I mean, that stupid freaking desk.”

“I’ve heard a swear word before, Leorio.” Gon says, and Leorio looks at Gon.

“Really?”

Gon nods, amused. “Remember, Killua’s-”

“Ah,” Leorio cuts him off. “That brat.”

He stands up and leaves the study, walking to the kitchen. “What time is it?”

Gon looks at the time on his phone. “7:15AM.”

Leorio grunts. “Not too late then.”

He opens his cupboards and starts rifling through them, presumable in search of coffee or another caffeinated beverage.

“So,” he says, “What brings you to my humble abode?”

“Well,” Gon explains. “I asked Kurapika about hanahaki, and he said you’d know more about it, so I came here.”

Leorio locates the instant coffee and starts hunting down a mug. “Why do you want to know?”

Gon shrugs. “I was just curious, I guess.”

Leorio finds a stained and chipped mug and spoons coffee powder into it. “Well, I assume Kurapika explained all the stuff about unrequited love and how it disappears?”

“Yeah.”

He sighs, pouring steaming hot water into the mug. “Unfortunately, I can’t tell you much more than that. Hanahaki is something that shouldn’t be medically possible. Flowers usually need things like soil, sunlight and water to grow. Hanahaki – well, you already know it doesn’t require anything but unrequited love. The best theory we’ve got is that it’s some type of parasite that feeds off a chemical the brain produces when faced with what it believes to be unrequited love.”

Leorio plops down on a chair, taking a sip of his coffee. “That’s all I’ve got, I’m afraid.”

“Oh.” Gon processes the information. “Thank you, Leorio.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Leorio says gruffly. “Well, did you have anything else you wanted?”

“Not really.” Gon says, and Leorio takes another sip of his coffee.

“That’s what I figured.”

He gets up. “I’m going to head back to the study. Exams are coming up, and you can never have enough preparation. You’re free to stick around if you feel like it, but if you leave make sure to lock the door behind you when you leave.”

“Okay.” Gon says. “Good luck studying!”

“Thanks, Gon.” Leorio calls back.

_________________________________________

After leaving Leorio’s, Gon heads to his final destination of the morning; an apartment block near Gon’s high school. Gon forgoes the elevator and instead walks up the stairs, heading to the third floor. He knocks on apartment number 99, and unlike his last house visit, the door opens within seconds.

“Gon!” A girl calls cheerfully.

“Good morning, Alluka.” Gon replies and Alluka grins brightly at him, stepping aside to allow him inside.

“I assume you’re here for Killua?” she says, a mischievous smile on her face.

Gon smiles sheepishly. “Yeah.”

Alluka laughs. “He’s not awake yet.”

“That’s fine.” Gon says, and walks to Killua’s bedroom. He opens the door, and it’s pitch black inside. Gon doesn’t bother saying anything – instead he walks straight over to the curtains and pulls them open, allowing warm, buttery sunlight to fill the room. Almost immediately, there’s a loud hiss, and the sound of blankets rustling.

“Rise and shine, Killua!” Gon says cheerily, and blue eyes stare at him blearily from under a mountain of blankets.

Killua takes one look at his face and tug the blankets over his head fully. “It’s too early for this shit.” He declares. “I’m going back to sleep.”

Gon bounds over and grabs the blanket, pulling at it, but Killua’s grip on it remains firm.

“Come onnnn, Killua.” He whines. “It’s already 8:00AM.”

“No.” The rejection is swift and immediate.

Gon sighs but digs his heels in and pulls harder on the blanket. After a tug-a-war that lasts several minutes, Gon manages to wrench the blanket away. He dodges a pillow thrown in his direction and smiles at Killua, who sits up and glares at him.

“What do you want, anyway?” Killua asks.

“I want to know about hanahaki.”

Killua furrows his brow. “Hanahaki?”

Gon nods.

“Gon, everyone knows what hanahaki is. It’s a flower that blooms from unrequited love-”

“I know that,” Gon cuts in. “But what I want to know is about the unrequited love bit.”

“Unrequited love?” Killua says, irritated. “It means when you love someone and the don’t love you back, dumbass. I told you to pay attention during English.”

“I know what that is too!”

“Then what the hell are you asking me for if you know everything?” Killua asks, arms folded across his chest.

“I want to know about love.”

Killua pauses. “Love?”

Gon clarifies. “Like what it’s like to be in love.”

Killua blushes. “Why the fuck are you asking _me_ that?!”

He shrugs. “I guess I just thought of you when I heard about love.”

Killua’s blush intensifies, crawling across his face and spreading to his ears.

 _It’s a pretty color on him,_ Gon thinks, before being slammed in the face with a pillow.

“What was that for?” he asks.

“Because you can’t just say shit like that, idiot.” Killua says, not meeting Gon’s eyes.

“Why no-”

“Besides,” Killua cuts him off. “I don’t know why’d you ask me.” He repeats. “It’s not like I’ve ever dated anyone or anything. You’d be better off asking Palm or something.”

“You’re avoiding the question Killua.” Gon says, drawing out Killua’s name. “Even if you’ve never been in love, you should at least know.”

“Google it.” Killua says, turning around so he’s not facing Gon.

“Why can’t you just answer the question?” Gon asks.

“If I answer the question, will you leave and let me sleep?”

“Mm-hm!”

Killua sighs. “I think love is when you want to make someone happy, when you want to see them smile. It’s the fluttery feeling you get in your stomach around them, and the way your heart races and your palms sweat. It’s about attraction, not just to their body but to them as a whole.”

Killua still won’t look him in the eyes. Gon smiles. “That’s a good explanation, Killua.”

For some reason, this makes Killua flush harder, and he gets out of bed, walking over to where his blanket lies on the floor. He shuts the curtains, effectively shrouding the room in darkness again.

“I’ve answered your question.” He says, lying on his bed. “Now get out and let me sleep.”

_________________________________________

When Gon arrives back at his house, at 8:45AM, Mito still isn’t awake, so Gon takes off his shoes quietly and sneaks up to his room. Gon crawls into bed, lies down and thinks. He thinks about what Kurapika said, what Leorio said and, most importantly, what Killua said.

_“Love is when you want to make someone happy, when you want to see them smile. It’s the fluttery feeling you get in your stomach around them, and the way your heart races and your palms sweat. It’s about attraction, not just to their body but to them as a whole.”_

Gon tries to think about who he could possibly love. Possibilities fly through his mind. How could Gon be in love with someone and not realize it. Could it be Zushi? Retz, maybe? Gon doesn’t know. He runs over the symptoms Killua had given him again.

“When I want to see them smile….” Gon murmurs. “Fluttery feeling…..Heart racing….”

He sits up. “Argh! I don’t get it!” Gon whines, sitting up. “The only person I get all of those feelings around is Killua, but I don’t –”

 _Killua._ Gon thinks, and suddenly time seems to stop.

Oh.

_Oh._

Gon loves Killua. All of a sudden it makes so much sense that Gon doesn’t know how he hadn’t figured it out earlier, hadn’t realized that _of course_ it was Killua, _of course_ it had to be Killua.

For a moment, Gon is exhilarated. He’s figured out who he likes, now all he has to do is….confess. And suddenly reality comes crashing in, with all the weight and power of a tsunami. Because even if Gon loves Killua, even if Gon confesses, there’s no way Killua will like him back.

Not Killua, with a sharp tongue and quick comebacks and snarky remarks. Not Killua, who is smart and good and helps Gon study for exams. Not Killua, who is far better than Gon ever could be, who is so far out of Gon’s league he may as well be separated from him by a mountain.

 _No,_ Gon thinks. _There’s no way Killua would ever love me back._

And, as if magically summoned by the thought, the itch returns with a vengeance, and Gon coughs out more petals. He coughs and coughs until his throat hurts, and even then he coughs some more. He slinks out of his room and goes to the bathroom, grabbing a glass of water and drinking it. His eye catches on the petals again. Examining them, Gon walks over to the computer and does a quick google search. He scrolls through dozens of images with no results, before he finds on that look similar and clicks on it. It takes him to a pretty website, all soft lilacs, and pale greens.

FORGET-ME-NOTS

The large text reads at the top of the page, and Gon looks at the flowers, reading the meaning listed. He thinks of Killua’s piercing blue eyes.

“Forget-me-nots.” He mumbles. “Makes sense.”


	2. Suspicion

The next day blooms early, myriads of colors spilling across the sky, deep black fading into the blues, purple, oranges and yellow-golds that accompany the sun. The birds provide a chorus worthy for a king to celebrate the sun ascending, and shadows are chased away by the light. Not that Killua would know, of course. He prefers to sleep in, savoring the warmth and softness of his bed and blankets. So by the time Killua wakes up, the sun is already high in the sky, and he has missed the supposedly spectacular view, if the excited texts Gon has sent the group chat signify anything. He squints his eyes at the bright numbers on his phone and curses the fact that his phone doesn’t have a lower brightness setting.

11:37AM, the white lettering informs him. Killua sighs. His phone beeps, signifying a text.

_Idiot - I’ll be there at 12:00, so you better be up!!!!_ _😊_

Killua groans, dropping his forearm over his eyes even as he feels a thrill in his stomach at the thought of Gon coming over. He sits up, pushing the blankets back and rubbing one of his eyes before walking over to the curtains and pulling them back. The sunlight assaults his eyes immediately, momentarily blinding him, so when Killua turns around, unable to see, he bangs his shin into his desk leg.

“MOTHERFUCKIN-” He yowls, clutching his shin and glaring at the table.

Killua hates mornings.

By 11:55, Killua’s finished his breakfast, brushed his teeth and dressed into something casual yet stylish, as per usual.

“Is Gon coming over again?” Alluka asks, looking up from her sketchbook.

Killua yawns. “Yeah.”

“Cover your mouth when you yawn, Brother! It’s rude.” Alluka reprimands. “Are you two going to be going somewhere, or staying here?”

“Who knows what Gon’s thinking.” Killua says. “I swear, his head is empty more often than not.”

As if on cue, three knocks on the door sound, all in quick succession. Killua walks over to the door and opens it.

“Good morning, Killua!” The cheery greeting is tossed at Killua along with a too-wide smile and gleaming amber eyes.

“No morning is ever good.” He responds, and Gon laughs delightedly.

“Don’t be so negative, Killua!” Gon says, bumping their shoulder together, and Killua valiantly tries to ignore the tingles on his shoulder.

“Hmm.” Killua says non-committedly, “Don’t think I will. After all, _someone’s_ got to be negative, and you’re way too aggressively optimistic.” Here he fakes a shudder, smiling impishly.

“Hey!” Gon laughs.

Alluka clears her throat pointedly. “As fun as it is to see you two flirt, I’m trying to do my homework for art, and the lovey-dovey atmosphere you’ve got going is distracting me.”

Killua blushes. “We’re not flirting, goddamnit!”

“Well, from over here it certainly looked like you were.”

Killua’s about to retort, the response on his lips when Gon starts coughing. It’s a dry sort of cough, and the coughing fit lasts a while before fading away. He hears Gon swallow before he turns around and looks at Gon concernedly, frowning.

“Are you okay? That sounded pretty bad.”

Gon looks up, eyes round and surprised, and laughs, though it sounds strained. “Ah, no, I’m fine.”

Almost immediately, Gon breaks out into another coughing fit, raising his hand to his mouth. Killua sees a flash of blue before Gon’s hands are shoved in his pockets, and he frowns again. Maybe it was just his imagination.

“You don’t sound fine.” He says, before turning around. “Hey, Alluka, do we have any cough medicine?”

“We ran out a few weeks ago.” She responds.

Killua sighs. “Right.” He says. “We’re going to the store. Kurapika should be able to get us come cough medicine.”

“No, really I’m fine-” Gon tries to protest, but Killua’s already moving forward.

“Come on, you idiot. It’ll just get worse otherwise.”

A pained look flashes across Gon’s face, and Killua tells himself for the second time that day that it’s just his imagination.

“Back again?” Kurapika asks once sees Gon, before catching sight of Killua. “Good afternoon, Killua.”

“Of course!” Gon chirps.

“Good morning.” Killua responds, and Kurapika raises an eyebrow.

“It’s 12:15, Killua, it’s not morning anymore.”

“For me it is.” Killua snipes. “Anyway, do you have any cough medicine?”

“Aisle 3.”

“Alright.” Killua says, striding easily to said aisle. “What do you recommend?”

“Buy the blue one. It’s the one Leorio usually gets.”

Killua wrinkles his nose. “Ugh.”

Kurapika shoots him an amused look. “He’s studying to be a doctor, you know. You could at least trust his judgement on this.”

“The old man’s also a cheapskate, though.” Killua mutters. “Wouldn’t be surprised if this just happened to be the cheapest one.”

Gon chuckles, and Killua feels a smile playing on the corner of his lips.

He grabs the blue bottle anyway, and on second thought grabs another one, shoving one of them at Gon.

“This is for you. Now,” Killua smirks. “Onto the best part of my visit.”

He glides to Aisle 5, the best aisle, in Killua’s opinion.

The sweets aisle.

Cardboard boxes of chocolate stand tall and straight like soldiers, bright coloring standing out starkly against the white background of the store. A variety of sweet packages, all in different shapes and sizes, hang proudly from their gleaming metal hooks, begging to be opened, to be eaten. Mints and chewing gum sit in their own section to their side decorated in cool green and blue, providing a reprieve from the bright shades of colors marking the aisle everywhere else.

Gon shoots him a bemused look as he stands at the entrance to the aisle, eyes sparkling.

“Don’t buy too many sweets, Killua. You’ll go broke and you’ll get cavities.”

“I have never gotten a cavity in my entire life.” Killua points out, walking past Gon, into what is, essentially, heaven.

“That doesn’t mean you won’t get one now!” he whines, but follows Killua into the aisle. Most likely to restrain him if he grabs too many sweets, but Killua will take it.

Kurapika laughs as he watches them, before perking up. “Killua!”

“What?” Killua asks, preoccupied.

“You know those rare ChocoRobo you were ranting about last week? I have some in the storeroom if you’re interested.”

Killua whips his head around, honing in on Kurapika like a beacon. “I am _very_ interested.”

Kurapika smiles, shaking his head. “I figured. Honestly, with the amount of sweets you eat, it’s a miracle you haven’t gotten a cavity yet.”

He turns around, walking into the storeroom. “Or diabetes.” He adds as an afterthought.

Killua follows him. “I’ll just be a second.” He informs Gon.

“Take as long as you want. I’ll wait.” Gon calls.

The storeroom is dark and quiet, especially compared to the bright colors and stark white of the of store outside. Killua waits patiently, hands in his pockets, while Kurapika walks around to one of the numerous boxes and rummages around in it. Killua spots a plastic flower crown made of blue and white flowers and hesitates. He thinks of yesterday’s conversation with Gon about hanahaki and flushes, thinking of what Gon had said.

_“I guess I just thought of you when I heard about love.”_

A flush comes over Killua’s cheeks just remembering it.

 _Arghhh,_ Killua thinks. _Does that idiot even think about what comes out of his mouth half the time?_

Kurapika turns back around, holding out the box of chocolates. Killua, wrapped up in his own thoughts, doesn’t notice, and Kurapika arches his eyebrows in surprise. He follows Killua’s line of sight, letting his gaze settle upon the plastic flower crown, and frowns.

“Hey, Killua.” Kurapika says, and Killua turns around, spotting the box of chocolate. Stars appear in his eyes and he snatches it eagerly and vows to Kurapika,

“I owe you one favor, no questions asked. I’d even kill a man for you.”

Kurapika chuckles distractedly, and looks at the plastic crown again. “Did…did Gon ask you about Hanahaki?”

Killua pauses. “He did actually. How did you know?”

The buzz of the fluorescent lights in the storeroom is the only sound for a while.

Kurapika shakes his head. “It’s probably nothing, but he came in and asked me. I heard he went to Leorio’s as well.”

Killua clutches his ChocoRobo tighter, connecting the dots. “And today he shows up with a cough.” He thinks of the flash of blue Gon had concealed in his pockets.

“It’s probably nothing.” Kurapika repeats, but he doesn’t sound convinced. “You know how Gon is.”

Gon having hanahaki. The thought seems surreal. How could Gon have hanahaki? The object of Gon’s affections would have to be blind not to return them, not to treasure them, not to treasure _Gon_. The mere thought of Gon having hanahaki causes a mixture of jealousy and fear to rise to the surface of his mind, and Killua suddenly feels sick.

“Yeah.” Killua says. “You’re probably right.”

Killua doesn’t sound convinced either.

_________________________________________

Gon smiles at Killua when he walks out of the storeroom and Killua shoots him a half-hearted smile back.

“Did Kurapika turn out not to have it?” Gon asks, and Killua shakes his head, holding up a brightly colored box.

“No, he had it.”

Gon frowns. Usually Killua would be ecstatic, boasting about having gotten a super rare ChocoRobo. He opens his mouth to ask if Killua is alright, but Killua speaks before he can.

“Hand over the cough medicine.”

Gon hands it over, and Killua places it on the counter, where Kurapika rings the bottles and the ChocoRobo up.

“That’ll be $20.50.”

Killua pulls out his wallet.

“Ah, wait Killua!” Gon says. “I can pay for the cough medicine!”

Killua looks at Gon, before disregarding his statement and pulling out his card. Gon watches as Killua pays.

“You didn’t have to pay.” Gon grouses as he and Killua walk out of the store into the heat. Killua waves goodbye to Kurapika, turning back around to face Gon and ripping open the box of chocolates. He shrugs, popping a chocolate in his mouth.

“I wanted to.” Killua bumps his shoulder into Gon’s. “So get better soon.”

Gon looks at Killua then, who averts his eyes and hides his face, but not quick enough to hide the pinkness of his cheeks, the flash of his blue eyes glancing shyly at Gon. There’s a sinking feeling in Gon’s stomach like lead.

“I’ll try.” Gon says, and Killua hums.

Gon stares at Killua, feeling an itch in his throat, and thinks, _But I don’t really think I can._

Killua looks up and catches Gon staring, but Gon still can’t being himself to rip his eyes away.

Icy blue meets gold-brown, and Killua retorts. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

Gon ignores the sarcasm and raises his phone, snapping a picture.

“Hey!” Killua whacks his arm. “I was being sarcastic.”

“Well you should have said so.” Gon says smugly, and when Killua reaches for his phone, holds it out of his reach. “I’m not deleting it.”

Killua glares at him.

“In fact,” Gon continues. “I’m going to be setting it as my background.”

He opens settings.

“You _wouldn’t_. _”_ Killua hisses.

“Watch me.” Gon dodges another swipe at his phone.

After a minute or two, he shows Killua his new background proudly. But instead of hitting Gon, or snatching his phone away, Killua only looks at the ground, cheeks ablaze.

“Do whatever you want. It’s not like I can stop you.” He says, and begins to walk off.

Without a word, Gon raises his phone again, and Killua barks out sharply,

“That was _not_ an invitation to take another photo!”

When Gon gets home, he sits down and his desk and unlocks his phone, looking at the picture of Killua. It really is a nice photo. Killua looks surprised in it, ocean eyes wide and bottomless, stars hiding in the depths of them, shyly peeking out. A faint blush paints Killua’s cheeks, turning them the slightest bit pink, a contrast to his porcelain skin. His lips look pale and soft, and Gon wonders if they would feel that way against his own, before blushing. Moonlight is woven into his hair, and the fading yellows, greens and browns of the background only help to accentuate his beauty. Gon feels a warm feeling pool in his stomach, molten affection and liquid warmth, little butterflies dancing over it.

Just as quickly though, there’s a sudden catch in his throat, and suddenly it’s a struggle to breath. Gon stands up, rushing to the bathroom. He hunches over the sink, and coughs. Each cough scrapes his throat raw, and no matter how much air Gon breathes in, it isn’t enough. A clump of petals makes its way into the sink, but this time, the petals are stained a scarlet red. Gon freezes, but he can’t hold back another cough, and this time, when the petal brushes his raw throat, it causes agony strong enough that Gon almost gags. The bitter taste of iron coats the inside of his mouth, and Gon spits out more petals.

For a while Gon stands there, clutching the sink like a lifeline, hunched over it still. With shaky hands, Gon opens the medicine cabinet and grabs the cough medicine Killua bought for him. He doubts it’ll do anything, but it can’t hurt to hope. He measures it out, spilling some due to the trembling of his hands, and swallows it. He drinks some water too, hoping to get rid of the blood remaining in his mouth like a sour aftertaste.

_________________________________________

What Kurapika said remains in Killua’s mind long after they leave the grocery store, no matter how much he tries to banish the thought from his mind. Killua knows it’s probably nothing, that Gon wuoldn’t have Hanahaki, but the thought scares Killua enough that it won’t go away, that it settles in his mind like an unwelcome visitor and stays. So it’s with that thought in mind that not even 20 minutes after Gon has left Killua back at his house that Killua is packing his bags, throwing in clothes, his toothbrush, deodorant and other essentials. 

Killua picks up his bag and slings it over his shoulder, walking out of his room.

“I’m going to stay the night at Gon’s.”

Sleepovers have been a regular occurrence between the two for as long as Killua has known Gon. Sometimes Gon would invite him over, pulling at his hand and begging, “ _Please Killua, please, only for one night, one night!”,_ waving his finger in Killua’s face. Other times Killua would show up, silent and still, after another argument, another fight. Gon would smile wide, beaming like the sun itself and say, _“Killua! You’re here!”,_ speaking the words like he had been waiting for Killua for ages, as if Killua was someone special, someone worth being loved, being cared for.

Alluka looks up, “So soon?”

“Yeah. Will you be alright for the night?”

Alluka returns her attention to the game in front of her. “I’ll be fine.” She sighs. “Geez, I knew you’d miss your boyfriend, but not being able to bear spending more 20 minutes apart is a bit drastic, don’t you think?”

Killua rolls his eyes. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

She wiggles her eyebrows. “Yet.”

He tactfully ignores her statement and puts on his shoes, opening the door. “There’s waffles in the third cupboard on the top shelf. You can have those for breakfast tomorrow. There’s leftovers in the fridge too, so you can have those for dinner.”

“Okay. Have fun!” Alluka calls as Killua walks out the door, locking it behind him.

When Killua arrives at Gon’s house, he’s greeted by Mito, who smiles at him.

“Killua!” She says, enveloping him in a hug. She spots his duffle bag. “Are you staying the night?”

“If you’ll have me, Mito-san.” Killua responds, and Mito shakes her head good naturedly.

“Everyone in this household would be happy for you to stay over.” She says, and Killua flushes a little, mumbling his thanks.

“Gon’s upstairs.” Mito says, and Killua steps inside, taking off his shoes.

“Thank you!” he calls racing up the stairs. Gon’s bedroom door is open, and Killua pokes his head in, expecting to see Gon reading a comic on his bed, or maybe staring frustratedly at math homework on his desk. He’s surprised to find the room empty, but walks in, depositing his duffle bag on the floor by the foot of Gon’s bed. He’s about to sit down and wait for Gon to come back when he hears a noise coming from the direction of the bathroom.

Curious, Killua stands up, walking towards to the bathroom. The door is open, allowing light into the room, but the blinds are closed and the lights off. A dark figure with distinctive spike hair is hunched over the sink. After a moment Gon – because who else could it be, with that hairstyle? – reaches up and rifles through the cabinet, locating a bottle. Gon’s hands are shaking as he pours himself some medicine, and Killua feels frozen, like he’s seeing something he’s not meant to be. Gon swallows the medicine, pouring himself some water. He swallows that too, setting down the cup. His hands are still shaky.

Killua takes a tentative step forward. “Gon?”

Gon looks up, shock clear on his face. “Killua?” It comes out all raspy, and Gon clears his throat, trying again. “Killua? What are you doing here?”

Now that Killua’s closer, he can see the bottle of medicine. It’s the cough medicine he got Gon.

“Are – are you alright?” Killua asks.

Gon straightens and gives him a shaky smile. “Of course.”

Killua takes another step closer. At this angle, he can just barely see into the sink, and makes out dark silhouettes in there. Before he can get a closer look though, Gon is barreling towards him.

“Killua!” He says, a little too loudly, flinging his arms around Killua with reckless abandon. “I wasn’t expecting you to come! After all, we just spent that day together – not that I don’t want you to come of course! I was just a little shocked. Hey, did you know Aunt Mito’s cooking chocolate pudding tonight? Actually, it’s probably good luck that you came then! Why don’t we go play games until dinner’s ready?”

“Gon,” Killua points out with some amusement. “You’re rambling.”

Gon leans back a bit, a sheepish expression on his face. “Heh, sorry Killua.”

Killua shakes his head, a fond smile on his lips. “It’s fine. Let’s go play some games.”

Gon smiles with none of the shakiness from before, and Killua wonders if it was just an illusion.

“Let’s go!” Gon cheers, bounding out of the bathroom.

Killua lingers behind slightly, looking at the sink. He still can’t see if anything’s inside, and he considers going over and checking it out.

_“Did…did Gon ask you about Hanahaki?”_

_“It’s probably nothing, but he came in and asked me. I heard he went to Leorio’s as well.”_

_“It’s probably nothing. You know how Gon is.”_

Killua takes a step closer. The pale bowl of the sink seems innocuous, and Killua hesitates.

“Killua! Are you coming?” Gon calls.

Killua startles. “Uh, yeah!” He responds.

He looks at the sink, and then at the door. He looks at the sink again. Killua walks towards the door.

 _It’s probably just a trick of the light or something,_ Killua thinks. _Kurapika’s right. It’s probably nothing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Here's the second chapter. I hope you enjoy it! After thinking about it, this will probably have around 4 or 5 chapters, but I'm not sure. Thanks for all the comments, kudos and hits! I'll see you next chapter!
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://faltien.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I hoped you liked reading this. There will be much more pining to come.


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